“Hope is a key ingredient to survival.”

I heard this in a documentary once about the HIV epidemic in Uganda, Africa and never forgot it. The community pulled together, encouraging one another. In the end, their testimony wasn’t centered on their sickness, but rather their extraordinary perseverance. The people had survived their incredibly challenging circumstances because of their hope. That made all the difference.

At a time when I needed it most, I came across a timely reflection and reminder of my own hope which has comforted me through many trials. Ultimately, I realize that if I have my hope, I have everything I need.

The message below was written in response to a question I’ve now since forgotten, but am so glad I answered with the fullness that I did, in regards to how I handle my adversity. This was composed during a time of transition and uncertainty. I was re-applying for medical school, after years of resiliency in my prior medical program, and was persevering through significantly challenging personal circumstances. I saved the response in a note for a day like today, nearly 5 years later, when I need a reminder to hold on, just a little while longer.

April 10, 2021 10:58 am

“Hey! Hope is actually the only thing that has kept me hanging on through this entire journey, and I realized that some time ago. So this is a great question. Whenever it seemed like any situation was a lost-cause, God was always there to remind me that there is hope in Him. From my perspective, because of our faith, we can never be without hope. 

There are a lot of things that are scary and confusing about the present and future but I choose to believe that it will all work out in the end. And what doesn’t work out was never meant for me anyhow. 

So with my past medical school, for instance, I think the reason why I don’t see it as a waste is because I know everything God does is intentional. And if it happened, there was clearly something I was supposed to learn from that experience. So, no matter how much it could feel like a hopeless and sad situation, I don’t spend much time viewing it that way because there’s still hope that the future can be much brighter. Choosing to see the good in the situation brings me hope for more good things to come. It also gives me a glimpse into what it could have all been for. For example, I wouldn’t have had this extra time to continue getting to know my partner [at the time] in a way that I wouldn’t have had everything gone as anticipated. I wouldn’t be on the road to completing my masters [degree] or have the chance to start fresh some place else, or to begin a new career that could be the place I was always meant to be. The list goes on.

I don’t get bogged down with the frustration of it all for too long because I realize that staying stuck on what could have been or what I feel shouldn’t have happened to me isn’t going to change anything. Being hopeful is kind of the only real choice we have in this life if we want to truly enjoy it. Because, truth is, no matter how great things get, there’s always something else bad that can happen. And then what? We crawl into a hole upset about a new bad thing until the next good thing happens and only temporarily lifts our spirits? We are only as good as our baseline happiness. (This concept is actually a thing called the hedonic treadmill. More on that here —not necessary to read in its entirety, but pretty interesting concept)

Anyway, God has given me hope through my ability to think about things in a more positive way than I would naturally. I know this doesn’t come from me at all because without the hope He provides, I wouldn’t have this perspective. I’ve been able to slowly raise my baseline happiness, and I am not as easily shaken by things. But I am constantly reminded that I still have a ways to go. There’s hope in that also.

Folks in the Bible show me that it is possible to be grateful for everything even when you feel defeated and think God’s forgotten about you. Paul sat there in jail and was still thankful. He’s an incredible example for gratefulness & that it can be done. 

(See this link for where I’m going with Paul’s story. I think this whole article that references the story is really relevant here! Highly recommend.)

I think about the people closest to those lost in the BLM movement and how they have to live with the injustice done towards their loved one for the rest of their lives. Folks like that give me hope. Folks like that are a testament to the fact that the things I’m facing in my life aren’t so bad. It doesn’t  diminish the fact that I am valid in being upset about the things that do happen me; it just puts things into perspective in knowing that God isn’t singling me out. So many good people have different trials that they have to face in this lifetime. It gives me hope to know that regardless of how He selects us to be used, justice, goodness, freedom…all that, comes in the end. 

I’m also big on signs. And I feel like God shows up in small ways that would only make sense to me. And for a while now I’ve felt like He’s got guardian angels speaking to me in subtle ways that they know I would notice and understand, guiding me to and away from things that will lead me to where I’m supposed to me. My constant prayer is that God leads me on a path that directs me towards Him and that I never be led too far astray. This prayer accounts for the fact that I will continue to make mistakes, but also gives me hope in knowing that no matter what happens this prayer is constantly being answered and I’m going to be okay. 

I also hang onto the scripture [below] because only after living a bit and surviving multiple things that would have completely swallowed me without God’s hand leading me through it, I know these words to be true: 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

So, basically, God knows what’s up. And He’s been aware since the beginning of time that life would be challenging. He never said it would be completely smooth sailing. But He did say He would never leave our side. And, He promises us peace. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

I hope this answered the question. I guess, to me my whole life is “the experience”. [really wish I remembered the question I was answering here]

I follow what brings me peace. And I remember that God cares about what I’m facing and is present even when things are hard (think Footprints poem👣).

But, I also accept the things I don’t understand. And I trust that God knows what He’s doing, even when I don’t. Knowing that there is purpose in everything and that there is a bigger picture at play here helps. Trusting that I’m not responsible for writing my story, no matter how crazy that story might be, is actually what gives me lasting hope.”

I didn’t know it yet, but just a few short months after sending this response about hope in the midst of adversity, the Lord would open a door for me that only He could open, with a phone call that would change my life. God would inevitably make a way when there seemed to be no way. I am currently living in a realized dream, hope fulfilled. I got a second chance at medical school. I have Jesus to thank for that.

There is much I am still hoping for in this current season, and I rejoice in this reminder that faith really does move mountains. ♡