There we have it folks, another year under our belts. And, word buzzing on the social media streets is that we have a new decade to look forward to.

Just like none of us could have accurately predicted all the things that have happened to us in the past 365 days, none of us can ever predict all that will happen in the next 365 days. It’s all such a mystery. You never know who you’re going to meet or who will develop a more important role in your life in the new year. You can’t predict which friendships will fade or who will unfortunately be lost. Morbid thought, I know. It’s such an eerie feeling to think that someone out there is preparing to celebrate their last New Year’s Eve, about to ring in their last New Year’s Day. If that’s not a nudge to enjoy the present moment, I don’t know what is.

All the memories that have yet to be made are sitting on the other end of that countdown. SO much can happen in a year.

I love that.

It’s both exciting and unnerving, the …unknown.

New Year’s Eve is one of my favorite holidays because of the uncertainty of it all. It’s a time to reflect on things of old and dream about things of new.

This year, I have the privilege of doing this annual reflection in my childhood bedroom, listening to the birds chirping that same tune they always sing as the sun-rays pour into my East-facing window. So peaceful. So, familiar. Crazy to think that this same sun has been here to greet me in this same room ever since the day I was born. One day this room will just be a memory. Even more of a reason to enjoy this moment, and all that comes with it.

The last sunrise of the decade.

Wow, what a chapter.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately, unsure of whether to celebrate my successes or mourn my failures. I’d like to think that both count for something. I’ve suffered extreme losses and been blessed with undeserved gains in the latter half of this decade alone. It’s hard for someone like me who loves to have a solid plan to just relax and flow through life’s uncertainties. But that makes me think, would any of these things have been any easier to face had I known to anticipate them?

Probably not.

Arguably, the most life-altering sermon I received this decade was one where Pastor Steven Furtick ingeniously used the odds of accurately guessing the NBA bracket as an analogy for how unlikely it is that any of us will ever beat the infinity to 1 odds of guessing what exactly it is that God has planned for our lives.

There’s no way you could have predicted all the things that happened to you in the last five years, let alone the last five months. I mean I did I write a whole post on the concept that All We Have Are Moments. So, I owe it to myself to seize mine. I want to embrace everything that comes with this new chapter; this new decade.

Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is not promised. This moment is all I have. It’s all any of us has. So, I’m going to enjoy it.

“We are not called to predict our futures.” -Pastor Steven Furtick, Elevation Church

We may not be called to predict our futures; but, we are called to live in them. Our paths are already forged. Remembering this fact has encouraged me to take things day by day, and just enjoy life’s unpredictability as it comes. I don’t know that I can yet claim to have traded in my neurotic planning tendencies for the carefree nature of, say, an ENFP, but I’ve made strides. I’ve been forced to make strides in this area.

It hasn’t been easy.

Flying through life on autopilot is scary when you don’t fully trust the pilot. Trusting the pilot takes a crazy amount of faith. In the turbulence, though the storm, even with the delays, you just have to trust that you’ll eventually make it to where you’re supposed to be. 

They say if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plan. Well y’all, He’s been up there keekeeing this entire year, having one of those deep belly laughs that make your eyes water and your stomach hurt. Oh, you better believe that there will be a Part 2 to My First Year of Medical School was Hell story time. More updates when I make it out of these flames.

NOTHING in my life has gone as planned this year. But, how often do things ever really go “as planned”?

They don’t.

So, I stopped planning. And I’ve learned to trust the pilot.

As much as I’ve fought against it, things are much more peaceful this way. After all, it’s not like I can fly my own plane.

The sermon helped me to realize that God really does have a plan for all of us. There’s always going to be something negative to focus on. Always. But these days I’m making the shift to focusing on more of the positive. Ultra positive people used to annoy me. Truth be told, some still do. But, no one likes a negative Nancy either. I’m simultaneously a realist AND an idealist. I’ve had to learn to balance the two and not allow that realism—*cough, cough* cynicism—to hold me captive from enjoying some of life’s most beautiful gifts.

Having a good circle of support helps with that. Part of leveling up is letting go. Can’t have all that baggage dragging you down when you’re trying to reach greater heights.

I’ve gotten so much better at not lending too much energy to neglectful people. Those who have succeeded at making me feel less than, overlooked, unworthy, unimportant or ignored are no longer my priority. I simply don’t have the energy for bad friends anymore. I’ve got too many gems in my life to be trying to create miracles with rocks. Everyone gets a choice in who they want to prioritize and/or be a good person to, and I respect that I won’t always be included in that list. I’ve made peace with that. No one ever said gems were an easy find.

So, shout out to the people who make me feel valued and whole. When I make it—and believe me, I WILL make it—I’ll give you the world when I receive it. That’s a promise.

I don’t know what next year holds, but I praise God for seeing me through this year and every other trip around the sun. I look forward to checking more things off my bucket list, feeding the things that make my soul happy, creating new goals and allowing my tribulations to manifest into beautiful testimonies.

I have a good feeling about 2020. Here’s to new beginnings.

What’s your biggest lesson of the decade?